#also not to claim homophobia or whatever but you know they would have never done this if they were a straight couple

[rainbowsky]

I want to ask you that wang yibo really like men or he only like xiao zhan and he also like women . Does he has interaction with other boys like xz ? plz tell me

Hi priyankakkkmtop,

Fake, fan fiction, CPN.

If I'm understanding correctly, you're basically asking if DD is gay or bisexual, or if he only likes GG and not other men. This is a question that's impossible to answer. It's not like he's going to come out and announce his sexuality to the world, for various reasons I've outlined at length in other posts.

And you might not be aware, but the notion that GG and DD are 'only gay for each other' is a very homophobic, fairly widespread attitude in the fandom. A lot of fans only accept GG and DD's queerness insofar as it serves their fantasies about GG and DD's relationship, and beyond that they wrinkle their noses and try to erase it to the best of their ability.

As I've said many times, if we believe GG and DD are in a relationship, we must accept that they are, in fact, queer. Whether homosexuality, bisexuality, pansexuality or whatever - some form of queerness is a prerequisite to them being together. Full stop.

This is an important distinction to make because queer acceptance is under fire across the world, and homophobia in any form serves to further the agenda of eroding and rolling back queer rights. This directly impacts GG and DD and their ability to be together. It directly impacts any queer person in this world. It behooves everyone who loves GG and DD and 'loves their love' to support queer rights and queer protections locally and across the globe.

We can't claim to love them and 'love their love' if we don't support queer rights. It's simply not a coherent position to take. I also believe it would deeply hurt GG and DD to know that we like them but dislike queer people/queer relationships or find them disgusting, or that we like GG and DD but don't support queer rights.

If we love GG and DD, then we need to put our money where our mouth is and find a way to be an ally to queer rights and queer people everywhere.

As for whether DD is gay or bi, like I said, it's impossible to know. I personally believe he's gay, which I talked about more in this post a while back, but that's just my personal perspective. I have no special insight just because I'm gay.

Has he behaved with any other guy the way he behaves with GG? Not really. I've never seen him behave with anyone else in the irreverent, often lewd, crude and rude ways he behaves with GG - at least, not to the same degree. The fact that theyr'e both so impolite with each other is a dead giveaway for how close a relationship they have.

I've also never seen his sajiao emerge so consistently and persistently with anyone besides GG. I've never seen him as gleeful as when he's got something up his sleeve about GG. I've never seen him so incapable of containing himself or schooling his features into neutrality in relation to anyone else but GG.

Yes, he has done some playfighting, joking around, and even whiny sajiao around his Uniq brothers and even sometimes around his DDU brothers, but never to the same extreme, and never with the same tone of sexual/romantic tension as GG.

Having said all of that, I feel it's misguided to fixate on or to compare their relationships with other people vs their relationships with each other. It's unseemly, frankly, to try to discredit the authenticity and intimacy of their friendships with other people just to get a sugar high. GG and DD can and do have good relationships with many people. The fact that they do is no threat to them as a couple, nor to us as fans. They should be respected.

Just because something is a candy to us as fans - say, the fact that they playfight so much - doesn't mean that we own it as a fandom. Doesn't mean that if one of them were to playfight with someone else it would in any way discredit GG and DD's intimacy or relationship. Jealous insecurity is not a quality I respect in fans. In my view it betrays a certain inability to respect GG and DD as individuals.

We also need to learn to take things in their totality rather than focusing on and jealously guarding each individual factor/candy.

Yes, they playfight. Yes, they whine at each other. Yes, they share nasal spray. If someone else were to share all of those factors, it would mean sweet FA as far as I'm concerned.

Does that person also share the same clothing brands/items, the same unusual linguistic idiosyncrasies, the same sense of humor, laugh and other unconscious behaviors, the same interpersonal connections, the same style and approach to studio output, the same interests and goals? Do they have anywhere near the amount and degree of coincidences, compatibilities and connections?

The answer will always be: no.

So I don't get why turtles fixate on things like this, and get insecure if one or two similarities are seen elsewhere in their lives. Nothing will ever match the towering mountain of connections we've observed between them.

You might find my masterlist post helpful. You can find a lot of resources, recommendations and older posts there.

[fuji09]

I operate on the outskirts of the 9-1-1 fandom, and thus I rarely engage in discourse. However, the previous anon who stated that Tommy is “the worst boyfriend” is mistaken.

One scene the 9-1-1 fandom loves to deliberate over is Buck and Tommy’s first date. The scene Anon was referencing was Marisol and Eddie joking about needing a bigger wardrobe. Tommy replied, “Ain't that the truth, right, Evan?” shortly after Buck had stated that he and Tommy were going out to meet hot chicks, in response to the wardrobe conversation. The meaning of the joke was that more closet space was needed(the metaphorical closet of heterosexual security) because of both his and Bucks's large stature. Regardless of whether or not you believe Tommy was trying to out Buck, people give Buck far too much leverage in this scene.

When Buck and Tommy first got together, people treated him as a “gay Yoda”. Someone Buck could use to guide him to Eddie. I’m a gay cis man, and I can say that nothing is more irritating than people claiming that older gay people must give leverage to newly out people, as though we must give to society out of obligation. People like Tommy have no requirement to stay for a bad date or twiddle their thumbs when they receive a rude remark. Keep that in mind if you watch their scenes.

Anon is right however about Tommy claiming to know people's feelings for his benefit. That's what happened in the breakup. Buck wanted to move in, and Tommy claimed he didn't know his feelings well enough to make that decision. He had to leave Tommy. He was always going to because this was his first boyfriend(I'm going to sidestep the homophobia). He makes accusations without evidence. He merely reflects on his own experiences and makes judgments based on that. This also continues in the morning after scene.

However, Tommy has also shown loyalty and care that no other LI or character has done for Buck.

To list a few

1. Showed up for the Bachelor party despite being on standby and then going to the hospital despite having fought a fire for 20 hours(how does the average person feel after running a few blocks)

2. He showed up to his loft for dinner after Bobby had nearly passed and listened to Buck talk about his problems, while adding a bit of his own experience(a rarity for his character)

3. In 8x05 he showed up at the hospital twice, Took care of Buck, and listened while he rambled about the cowboy, momentarily adding in a few snarky remarks, and drove Buck to the cemetery so that he could give a eulogy to the cowboy despite not believing in curses.

Not to mention Bobby and Athena would likely be several thousand feet down were it not for Tommy coming to the rescue after being requested by Chim despite having not talked to him in 5 years.

People will always talk about hating Tommy. They've pulled apart the narrative and strung it back together so many times it is no longer a cohesive version of the show. Yes, Tommy was a terrible person in the past, but so were most other characters in the show. Society will never improve if we only ever stamp one label on someone due to their lapses in judgment.

Also, there have never been feelings for Eddie on Tommy’s part. This wasn't discussed in anons post, but that was something Buddie fans created to feed their narrative. No matter how they try to villanize Tommy, he has also showed that he cares. He has flaws like everyone else on the show.

Anyways, I’m done. I don't actively watch the show, nor have I ever because I hate procedurals, but I hope you enjoy it. Whatever your preference is, know that 9-1-1 is just a show.

Enjoys tonights episode :)

Thank you so much for this.

Yeah I don't see that as him almost outing Buck. Buck was a dick at that date, because he was scared but still, Tommy had every right to leave.

Ugh I hate gay Yoda thinking. No one is required to be someone's gay Yoda.

Yeah Tommy did a lot of good and really seemed to grow and become a better person. Yes he still has flaws, but they all do.

And you're right, most of them were shitty people in the past but they grew and changed. I love the show for that.

I'm excited for the new episode!

Thank you for being kind, it's very much appreciated.

[sunspira]

i often feel like the male socialization claim against trans women is bullshit but also has some "passing privilege" discourse aspects to it to unpack. and yet the specific damage and suffering of someone forced to pass and hide is sometimes HARDER to put into words and eats her from the inside out more insidiously and with less support systems for it or even Words for it just having words for misogyny can help us cope with the oppression be heard and validated and fight it when when youre a cis woman and have always be sure and assured that you are. that's why so many trans women are facing material oppression like poverty and mental illness (like actual mental illness caused by lifelong pain and trauma not the transphobic idea). tho even then there are such insidious, invisible aspects of misogyny that all women even we as cis girls are still trying to identify unpack and uplift each other out of so it's still a concern that runs deep. for me a lack of girls in stem is still so insidious and i would even give priority to helping more cis girls into stem because that pipeline to arts and humanities (and domestication) vs stem is pushed on kids and adolescents more subtly than the more obvious blantant misogyny. they don't outright say "oh you look like a boy to me you should work on computers" it comes in the form of subtle praise for one academic or life skill and subtle discouragement for another academic or life skill from adults who assigned your gender. so we say ya ok cool :) they're so proud of me :) not even cis women have put good words to it yet or figured out a good fight for it so we aren't really better off than trans girls in this aspect as we are on like more well established fights like autonomy in reproductive health or the right to vote or work

the passing privilege discourse thing to me isvery similar to a white passing person of color or a person with an invisible illness or disability or a gay guy who has a traditionally masculine personality. like a fem gay guy who was considered obviously gay since birth have problems that people who can kinda hide it don't and their childhood homophobia experiences were so different. tho still homophobia. but the people who can hide it are also forced to hide it, even from themselves!!?!. trans girls in childhood aren't visible girls until they come out. being closeted isn't a privilege but we know that invisibility vs hyper visibility are different kinds of pain that don't really counteract each other. also to be clear it's the aspect of being a GIRL that is invisible. often a trans girl is very visibly marginalized for not conforming to whatever a boy ks supposed to be. tho feminine boys and girls still have different experiences under misogyny where someone seen as a feminine boy is the indirect target. and how horrific that must be to homophobically / patriachically marginalized for not being the right kind of boy and on top of that like IM NOT EVEN A BOY LEAVE ME ALONE. it must be hell. it's not supposed to be about how easy it was for trans girls for fucks sake that's so deluded or that trans girls had the same experiences as cis het boys. it is usually just helpful to look at like opportunities and protections afforded to you by not being a visible girl like Mulan being encouraged and taken more seriously as Ping stuff like that is actually very healing to go over in your mind and process.

for me it was the dichotomy of having a serious but invisible childhood neurological disorder or difference but never being diagnosed until late in life early adulthood because i had atypical symptoms and was good in school. and i can't tell you how important it is formatively to be good in school and be able to blend in well enough to not get called out of class for extra help and not get bullied. but also the lack of help and slow invisible descent into madness and detachment from myself and denial of my own emotions and stressors and detachment from my soul while 24/7 masking and confusion every time i felt differently from what was expected like averse and avoidant and anxious or overwhelmed over "abnormal" things, or struggled with something that should be easy for "someone like me", i would just self gaslight and self deny and self blame. culminating in complete and total nervous mental breakdown at like 21 and at least a decade of recovery. with all that of COURSE i am sometimes gripped by envy of people who were diagnosed as young children as intended and spent their whole life knowing the most simple neurodivergent stuff about themselves like sensory overload because without that label when experiencing sensory overload i'm telling you it just seems like random bipolar mood swings, no wonder they put me on lithium. it was hell. and yet when i look at neurdivergent people who are so much more openly and obviously impaired than me and that increased NEED and severity is part of the reason they were dx'd in the first place, who are forced into abusive aba therapy and go nonverbal and want a relationship but struggle to connect with people irl or even go out or be allowed to go out. well i would never pretend like i have it harder in that regard even tho the experience of being undiagnosed were awful. not the cleanest comparison tho but

that hypervisibility vs invisibility thing. and the ramifications of being abused or controlled and silenced for a visible marginalization vs the life long debilitating scars and damage done by suppressed repressed and gaslighted marginalization is how i look at cis girls childhoods vs trans girls childhoods. cis hypervisible girlhood vs trans invisible girlhood. is this anything

[sortanonymous]

Set this to clown music... and I mean this man in general. (aka Toxic Pea is the worst Kirby YouTuber)

TW: Discussion involving a bigot, primarily around transphobia (and I mean as soon as the first picture), not to mention many other grim topics.

Look, as big a guilty pleasure as hearing of internet squabbling can be, I never wanted to be the one to actually discuss it myself. But I feel like I just needed to get this one out of my system sooner than later.

So in case you didn't know, Toxic Pea is a Kirby YouTuber who uploads tons of memes and lyrical covers of Kirby songs (never liked the idea of those videos btw). He was quite popular until it was revealed in January of this year that he had said the N-word multiple times on Discord even as he was told that it was a horrible thing to say, not to mention tons of other signs of him being a bigot with, at best, practically no respect for LGBTQ+ people, like for example prefacing videos alluding to gay ships by saying that he hates "gender ideology". Also he keeps making weirdly risque and gross jokes over Elfilin, which combined with his other actions somehow does the impossible in making me hate Elfilin even more. The list goes on, but believe me when I say I am far from the first person aware of this nor the one most affected by it, even if the big well-done thread that outed him has since vanished. I admit that I never really saw all of that coming, but honestly I briefly had bad vibes about him way back last spring when, in the wake of the tragedy in Uvadale, he made a YouTube community post basically saying that atheism was far more responsible for mass shootings than mental health or gun laws, and even when someone made a well-thought out reply with a strong counterpoint who happened to say that they were atheist, he opened his reply to that by basically going, "But God is real lol", and even if I believe he wasn't that rude throughout the response (it's an old post so it's either lost or extremely hard to access now), that frankly strikes me as a really douchey thing to say in a discussion like that. (I'm aware that he lives in Spain, assuming that counts for anything at all.)

When that happened and a ton of Kirby YouTubers understandably shunned him, he put out a classic crappy apology and from there has just spent the year as the most deplorable clown on the Kirby side of YouTube. He made jokes in videos about saying the N-word again, sponsered a trend called "Reclaim June" (take a wild guess how they feel about gay people) and questioned why anyone would be proud of being gay or trans, whined about his downfall and his peers disowning him through the classic "I'vE bEeN cAnCeLlEd!!!" talk, became Fortnite buddies with Mirth and defended her with some insufferable "JeSuS fOrGiVeS hEr FoR cReEpInG oN kIdS!!!" bs, and a month ago, after getting torched for using an old meme involving someone who distanced themself from him without their permission, went on a truly baffling, borderline drunk-sounding ramble of a Community Post that included claiming that all of his moments of xenophobia were faked, trying to indoctrinate people into Catholicism (he's that kind of guy as far as using his religion to excuse being such a turd), and randomly saying at the end that he was making a Kirby movie (he's like the fakest Kirby fan ever off his bigotry alone but whatever). (I should mention that he has said multiple times that he is bisexual, and it seems genuine to me. He's even hinted at taking shame in it over his religion and stuff. It's absolutely no excuse for his actions, but I feel like clearing that up as he seems to have some internalized homophobia or something. I've unfortunately heard of gay people being transphobes, and I have indeed heard more recently of bi people being homophobic, so I feel like I should clear that up, especially considering my own misconceptions earlier.)

That leads us to today when he reacted to people's distaste for him by first acting as if him being Asian had anything to do with it and acting like he's being crucified for nothing. He then claims he loves trans people like any Christian neighbor would before immediately breaking out into a diatribe about how much he pities trans people and how they are inherently sinful for "mutilating the body that God gave them for his/her ego" and that he's just as bad as them? Like he occasionally complains about people viewing Christians as inherently hateful people, but frankly he's doing nothing to help that image for the many good Christians who I can't help but feel bad for, the ones who practice their faith while not being hateful crapheads over it. Not to mention that he still has several people sticking up for him and occasionally even indulging in more explicit hate that makes him look that much more like an enabler. (There's admittedly not much that's too hateful, but there's a rare not-moved commenter under that post trying to counter his crap about transitioning being a sin through some half-decent house metaphor, and it turned into a long thread that included one dipcrap throwing out the T-slur, just to show how uncomfortable they could be.)

So yeah, Toxic Pea, true to his name, is a toxic pea-brain who sucks. Don't interact with him. I admittedly have some bile fascination in seeing how this mess evolves (if that's a bad thing, then let me know), but it's really unfortunate and honestly baffling how a franchise like Kirby can have such ignorant, hateful "fans". (Like it's not quite as oxymoronic as the concept of a homophobic Steven Universe fan, but it's up there.) So again, don't listen to this twat, and if this is news to you and you liked him, then I'm sorry I had to be the bearer of bad news for you.

(Edit: I don't know if this is too late too matter, but I'd like to apologize about my frankly close-minded response to his bisexuality, because it does seem genuine and that he's even so in on his belief of homosexuality being a sin that he feels ashamed about it, which may well be internalized homophobia. It's not at all an excuse or a justification for his actions, but I felt bad for being so close-minded about that aspect of him.)

[lesbian-spaces]

I'm just as excited about the newest fantastic beasts film as everyone else, but I hate what they did with the whole blood pact thing. It wasn't in the original story (7th Harry Potter book), and there was no reason to add it. It just undermines Albus' and Gellert's relationship, the way I see it.

In both the book and the movie, Albus knows he has to face Gellert; he is, after all, possibly the only one who can stop him. But in the book, he can't; and he can't, because he still loves him. He loves him so much that he is willing to put duty aside. He feels a responsibility to act, to put a stop in Gellert's madness and violent pursuit of power, but he feels he can't be the one to take Gellert down. He loves him too much to become his downfall, his doom, no matter how justified this action would be. He avoids the final duel between them not out of fear, not because he doesn't care about Gellert's victims, but out of love. And when he had to put a stop to it, knowing that lifelong imprisonment would be the best he can hope about Gellert's fate, he does so with a heavy heart. Gellert's fate was what hurt him the most, with the exception of Ariana's death, of course. These were the only things Albus never forgave himself. And you can tell from the way he never really moved on, never really fell in love again, that he blamed himself for Gellert's end. He played a part in the development of Europe's darkest wizard (nevermind the fact that he was a teenager back then), so he also played a part in his downfall.

In the movie, he is shown to love Gellert, yes ("we were closer than brothers", he says), but love is not the reason he avoids that final fight that he knows will come, eventually, no matter what he does. No, the reason here is a blood pact. Something less binding than even Voldemort and Draco had, with the unbreakable oath. Something he wants gone, so he can finally take on Grindelwald. And I don't wanna imply that it doesn't hurt the cinematic version of Albus to have to fight - and imprison, maybe kill - Gellert, because it does. But love has as much influence over his decisions as that blood pact, maybe less. And I cannot help but feel like this waters down the relationship between these two characters.

[flagellant]

After The Revolution Will Never Come

An examination on the realpolitik of revolutionary movements and the perpetuation of the iconography of violence. Originally written for my university final paper. 2,500 words.

-

There will come soft rains and the smell of the ground, And swallows circling with their shimmering sound;

And frogs in the pools singing at night, And wild plum trees in tremulous white,

Robins will wear their feathery fire Whistling their whims on a low fence-wire;

And not one will know of the war, not one Will care at last when it is done.

Not one would mind, neither bird nor tree If mankind perished utterly;

And Spring herself, when she woke at dawn, Would scarcely know that we were gone.

-Sara Teasdale, “There Will Come Soft Rains”.

There is an inherent seductiveness to being justified in your actions. To know without any doubt that you were right; that whatever path you chose was the correct path to take, now and into the future. It makes a world of complicated loose-ends and shades of gray into a perfect aesthetic of simplistic moral values. If you were correct, then it necessitates that something else was wrong; if your side is the right side, then whatever actions you took must also have been right. This is not to assign blame; life is a confusing tangle of messy and ugly truths intertwined with deceptions, many of which happen at the same time, or are even the same thing. To crave the shelter of simplicity, to want to feel the certainty that your idea of your own righteousness cannot be challenged, is perhaps one of the most honest parts of human nature.

Yet while this is an understandable instinct, it is not a good one. Jim Butcher elaborated on a fairly well-known idea of actions only justifiable by ourselves in his quote, “No one is an unjust villain in his own mind. Even - perhaps even especially - those who are the worst of us. Some of the cruelest tyrants in history were motivated by noble ideals, or made choices that they would call 'hard but necessary steps' for the good of their nation. We're all the hero of our own story.” 

My fear, however, does not come from the justifications that others do not give our actions. Instead I am more afraid of the normalization of violence that we can accept so long as those around us accept that violence. To be beyond reproach requires a community which believes that to be true of your character; inversely, to be irredeemable and monstrous is not something we choose to see for ourselves, but rather that we judge in how we see others. For Americans, I cannot claim to know the source, but I am certain of its consequences, when I look back even throughout my own short lifetime at the popularization of antiblackness, antisemitism, homophobia, and Islamophobia. Each of these philosophies are predicated on the understanding that an outside group is to blame for the violence being done against them, that there is a shared, unilateral complicity in corrupting evil which must somehow be vanquished. 

I think often about the potency of symbols and iconography within the human psyche. Simple images which, through some miracle, have become more than what they could ever otherwise be. Icons are sanctuaries, places of holiness, of veneration. They cease to be mere images and become a representation of philosophies, ideals, and concepts, empowering whatever they represent like a focusing prism might strengthen the light and heat of a ray of sun to set a fire from a single perfect point. Meaning is found in the most illogical of things, but that does not reduce the fact that we find meaning in them nonetheless. So I find it concerning to witness within the modern American politics of the radical leftist revolutionaries what seems to be an unconscious commitment to perpetuation of the iconography of violence.

    Consider the guillotine. There have been countless stories of its legend, its grim history attached to the shining blade. Its inventor was the Doctor Guillotin, who sought to create a more humane method of murder ordered by a ruling class of citizens–at the time, there were the options of a headsman or a gallows, both of which caused, ostensibly, too much cruelty in the ending of human lives by human hands. I do not believe that Guillotin would have envisioned the legacy of bloodshed he would allow, but I do not believe that anyone ever expected the bloodlust of the French Revolution to reach such awful heights.

    They were awful, without a doubt. Over the course of less than a year more than fifteen thousand people were executed via the guillotine, with another twenty-five thousand being executed through other means. Looking not back to the words of the past, but instead to the philosophies of the present, I believe that the guillotine captures something in our imaginations like no other method of execution ever has. It is a clean, simple, perfected machine, tall and central in wherever it sits, confrontational in its exact function. The great equalizer of all men, Madame Guillotine, for we are all comrades in that we are mortal. And, of course, it is a more humane way to separate men’s ghosts from their bodies. 

    It is this concept more than any that I think is why the modern revolution’s iconography exists so strongly within the grip of the falling blade. We seek to understand ourselves not as murderers or tyrants, but as merciful victors, somber in our need to enforce justice and rules, refusing to relish the idea of suffering even if there is simply no other course but to kill. To torture, maim, and cause as much agony as possible for our personal delights would be truly ghoulish, unacceptable, and prove that we of course are no better than what we defeated. It is a very Romantic means of death; there is spectacle, but there is brevity. There is poetry to the righteousness of an impartial Sword of Damocles, yet we do not stoop to sully our community’s hearts with needless pain.

    All of this is a lie. There is no community worth anything which seeks to root its foundations in the efficiency of ending human life. To kill another person as painlessly as possible due to perceived moral necessity is not a mercy, because it by nature must justify the action of murder. Morality ceases to be a function when the legalization of the taking of another’s life is the source of it.

    But still, I cannot pretend I do not understand, or even that I do not want to agree, with many of my fellow anarchists. I see the symptoms of a system of government and commerce which has, with no metaphor or allusion, encouraged the permittance of treating human life as a resource to be extracted for profit. I see private citizens funding with personal billions upon billions of dollars the violent usurpation of a foreign nation to prevent their trillion-dollar businesses from being slightly less of a trillion-dollar business. I see leaders of our country witness the countless murders of black men, women, and children, and call for the communities of the dead to control their anger, instead of controlling the killers that remain unpunished or even become celebrated for the ultimate miscarriage of justice, that which ends in the destruction of human beings. I see my planet not even being granted a slow and limping fading-away as it is instead accelerated to apocalyptic levels of death due to the refusal of sacrificing profit for survival. How could I not understand the need for a means to prove to the kings of our kind that they, too, shall die–and by the hands of those they would continue killing, if need be?

    Unrest has moved through our world and nation not as a wildfire has, clean and purifying, but as a plague which infects and sickens the hearts, minds, and souls of us and what we make. Our bitter fury at our own powerlessness to prevent harm being done festers and rots like mold in the pit of a peach, capable of killing everything sweet in the world as it lay just beneath the skin. There is a logic to why the guillotine has become such a potent symbol of change, but I do not want to admit that there is a justification for perpetuating that symbol. To venerate and lionize a means of murder and execution ordered by those in power is, I worry, not just to continue a cycle of violence and the reinvention of structures of suffering we live under now. I worry that, at its very core, it encourages an inability to think of any hope for change that does not glorify death and destruction. Perhaps every act of creation necessitates destruction; perhaps a violent upheaval in the loosing of shackles is inevitable for the future of humanity. Certainly it is difficult to envision a reality of realpolitik that does not begin and end with human death at human hands.

    But just because it is difficult, or perhaps even impossible, does not mean that we should not shy away from the iconography of violence-as-politics, of murder-bringing-change. I think there is very little in our government and systemic structures that is worth salvaging, truly, but I think of something other than headless corpses piled in the city square when I try and imagine a better world.

    Fire has always been an icon in human history; it predates history, and even predates humans. It is destructive, but its destruction is a purification and cleansing. Nothing remains but ash and charcoal, but because nothing remains, it means that you are free to take an entirely new path, with nothing in the past to shackle you. It appears in Creation myths as both creator and destroyer; the conflagrating Shiva, Lord of the Dance; the father of humanity, Prometheus, stealing flames to gift to the first cold and lonely humans instead of being hoarded by selfish Zeus; Coyote climbs the mountains of the sky to take for us fire from the giants, and now the tip of his tail is burnt black from it forever. It appears in the supernatural as divinatory and healing; the Oracle of Delphi inhaling the burning fumes of the gods; the priests of God lighting candles to exorcise demons; the tarot traditionally depicts The Tower, or The House of God, as lightning-struck and aflame, an omen of cataclysmic destruction and overwhelming catastrophic change. Wherever we look, we see fire and fear it as much as we love it, for it is the flames that both grant us life and warmth and kills all it touches with the same breath.

    If we must move away from the perpetuation of violence in revolutionary iconography, I must respect the power of iconography at all. Power abhors a vacuum, and propaganda as a rallying cry is an eminent source of empowerment and strength for our convictions. I think of the wildfires of California, and the chaparral which must be burnt to cinders requires to grow and stay healthy as an ecological biome. Entire ecosystems have evolved with the understanding of their end by flame inevitable, and have tied their births to the ashes that are left behind. It is not in the homeland of my tribe that I see a possible replacement for the guillotine–there is no real romance in a pinecone–but I find it elsewhere.

    There is a part of the Cape of Africa called the fynbos, or fine bush. It is a region of land where more than four in five plants are endemic to nowhere else except that miniscule hundred kilometer band. Fires rampage through it every decade or so, eradicating the lush beauty of the hills bright with flowers, each trying to attract the pollination of the sunbirds which live in the region and feed off of their nectar.

    It is in the ashes and smoke of a wildfire which has left nothing of the old world that I find what symbol I see myself in. Four days after the conflagration, a single flower will have bloomed; the Cyrtanthus ventricosus, commonly named as the fire lily. These plants bloom only after the soil their bulbs live in are exposed to extreme temperatures; they are exclusively pollinated by a single species of butterfly; within two weeks, the flowers will have died as the rest of the fynbos explodes back into vegetation, and it goes dormant once more as a bulb, waiting for the next fire to come, as I suppose it must know it always will.

    I want to be clear: I do not see this as an appropriate symbol because of the idea that it represents the hope of a future where justice has won. I think that the lie of victory over oppression is perhaps the greatest danger we face as Americans; we are too easily comforted by the idea that the fight for civil rights and humanity can exist in the past, definitively beaten, or only ever in the smallest dregs, never truly a threat anymore. The idea of history being something we create, as opposed to something which does not apply to us, is not seductive as righteousness is, but rather a terrified grip onto complacency: If we live in times where injustice must be fought, then that means if we are not fighting injustice, we are why it must be fought. The fire lily, on the surface, lives only after the revolution of fire. It is perhaps to others a sign of beauty, perhaps of hope, that life shall exist even after the most calamitous of change.

    To me it is the knowledge that the fire lily did not come to life after the fire–justice does not live only once injustice is defeated. The fire lily is a lily. It is a plant which grows from the same bulb, flowering again and again, withering away each time and waiting for its moment to bloom. It is never dead, it may only be killed; otherwise, it is still there, just below the surface of the soil, unseen and ignored by many, but exists within the foundations of the world nonetheless.

    The point in time where any of us will ever be able to say, “This is after the revolution”, will never come. The fight against human cruelty, against murder and violence in all its sizes and shapes and justifiications, against conflict and struggle and suffering–it is never something able to be won. We exist in a constant state of learning more about our fellow man, and our ideas of justice grow with each new thing we learn. To be alive is to change into something other than what you were mere moments ago; to be dead is definitionally to stagnate, unable to change yourself, merely to be changed by those around you. The fire lily did not grow after the revolution, it merely was most visible then. Fire happens when we grow rampant and green and far too comfortable with the idea of forgetting that, just like justice exists within the foundations of our societies, so too does injustice, waiting to strike. The only difference between the fire and the flower in this system of symbology, then, is merely what symbols we see in them, and what we are willing to do about it.

[kanmom51]

I’m a baby army, just some months into the fandom so far. I got introduced to their music through a co-worker, she was constantly playing their music at work and I got curios. when she was introducing each member everything was ok, but then it came this part of “there are some famous ships in the fandom too” ( I was familiar with the concept of shipping and I asked if it was a thing in army) the answer was that “it’s cannon in the fandom and everyone knows that V and Jungkook are together, there is so much prove about it but we protect them ” “yoonmin it’s canon too but we don’t know much about them” and to be honest I just thought to myself oh well, ok, because of course I was not familiar with anything at the time. I have to admit she never said anything negative about any of the guys while introducing them to me, but as I started watching original content like BTS run, Bon voyage, The Soop, Jikook caught my eye and I started to search more about them and I was like wait a minute. weren’t these two lovebirds supposed to be the cannon of another pair each? 🤔 ones I asked about it the answer was simple and plain “Yeah those 2 spend a lot of time together, Jimin is kinda of an attention sicker, if you look close Jungkook it’s so done with him 99% of the time” and I was shocked, didn’t we saw the same content or what? My point in here it’s that she wasn’t the only one, ones I got introduced to other army I could see a lot of them claiming Jimin being an attention sicker and even a seductor by nature that only those it for fun and manipulation to the younger member (don’t know if these people realize jk it’s 24, he might be the maknae but he’s not 11 and forcing him… that man has too much muscle and brains for me to believe it’s Jimin’s victim) Do you think that’s the reason a lot of “army” allow jikook to get so much hate? Regardless of their bias or if they are “Ot7” Has Army as a fandom normalized calling Jimin basically a man wh0r€ but with kinder and disguised words? I think it would be easier to admit that some are jealous he has a grate a$$, talent, money and apparently the most wanted boy in the music industry as a bf. Anyway I’m so happy I found your blog, it has become my safe place when it comes to jikook 💜

Hello hello anon.

Welcome to the fandom and to my blog. 💜

I am so glad to hear that you had the foresight to go and watch the original content and the intelligence, including emotional intelligence to see just how special JM and JK are to each other.

"I think it would be easier to admit that some are jealous he has a grate a$$, talent, money and apparently the most wanted boy in the music industry as a bf."

Yes, I do believe that part of it is the green eyed monster. But I think it's kind of a mixture of that with so much homophobia too. It's so much easier to call JM a whore, a seductor, someone that is throwing himself, forcing himself on JK, than resigning themselves to the idea that JK is queer and madly in love with this other gorgeous human being.

And funny how these people call themselves true fans all while being super ignorant about who these two young men are as human beings.

On the one hand JK is this helpless child in their eyes, being forced by Hybe and JM into whatever they think they are doing. But on the other hand they see, well want to see, JK as a confident sexy "international playboy", a womanizer, or 'fuckboy' as one of my anons called him (which kind of also contradicts him being forced into something with JM).

Painting JM as this seductive flirt, and JK as this helpless being. The muscle pig that JM goes all wobbly giddy shy around, yes he's being forced into this.

They ignore their personalities. They ignore what they both say. They ignore what they both do.

Did JM force JK to suck on his ear in front of thousands of fans, or to tattoo his name on his hand, or to say "love you" to him during the LV concert? Did JM force JK to carry him out of the stadium? Heck no, to all of the above.

They have been denying this relationship for years now, thing is it's getting harder and harder for them as time goes by, and the louder and louder these boys get.

[legless-fish-on-rollerskates]

All the morons trying to claim that Dean wasn't saying anything to Cas because he was holding back slurs or something equally ridiculous... what show have you been watching? Surely not Supernatural. Like, yeah, Dean had some internalized shit for a while (mostly cause of how he was raised, let's be real), but this isn't season fucking one. Dean's in his goddamn forties now guys.

But you still think Dean Winchester is homophobic? Let's examine the evidence then, shall we?

1. Aaron Bass: Dean was flustered because he's not used to being hit on by dudes, but he was completely respectful. And he was alone, too. It wasn't like he was trying to "hide his homophobia" from Sam. He could've said whatever he wanted in that moment without anyone ever knowing, and he chose to awkwardly walk backward and wish Aaron a nice day. Then later, when they're working with him, Dean says nothing about it (other than a quick "he was my gay thing" to Sam), doesn't make it weird, and talks to him exactly the same way he would talk to anyone else.

2. Jesse and Ceasar: Dean's surprised when he realizes that they're married, again because he's not really used to it and so he made the wrong assumptions (which I will point out is really really normal, it happens all the time even between queer people, because heteronormativity is very much a thing in real life). But what does he do when he finds out? He asks them about their marriage - with genuine curiosity. What's it like to be in a relationship with a hunter, is it hard, all that jazz. Never asks about the fact that they're both men, none of those gross "so who's the woman" questions, literally just. Talking to two married hunters. That's it. Then later, when they're working, he never once questions their capability as hunters or suggests that they're weak in any way. There's no "you're less 'manly' because you're gay" mindset at all. And at the end of the episode he's genuinely happy for them, two hunters who managed to get out of the life and retire together.

There's lots of other examples (several male cops have been obviously into him over the years, his reaction to Jody talking about Claire and Kaia, all the subtext surrounding Lee, etc.) but for my last one for now, let's not forget...

3. Charlie fucking Bradbury: Arguably Dean's best friend besides Cas (no I haven't forgotten about Benny, I love Benny, but he was part of a very specific chapter of Dean's life and that chapter is done). We've known she was a lesbian from the get-go, and Dean takes it in stride when he finds out, immediately improvising to coach her through some painfully awkward flirting so she can get into the office ("you've just come home, and Scarlett Johansson is waiting for you"). And yes, there's the whole "I feel dirty" "yeah so do I" bit there, but that's clearly established as a joke, plus the guy was gross - as someone who is attracted to both women and men, I would feel dirty after flirting with him too.

The next few times we see Charlie, she and Dean are geeks and dweebs together, Dean is having more fun than we've seen in years, and we see him be a really good friend - in some ways, a better friend than he is to Cas. Charlie talks to him a little bit about girls, they LARP, they go shopping together, Dean comforts her when she has to let go of her mom. When she's killed, he gets so upset he goes on a murderous rampage (maybe not the most healthy way to deal with greif, but nonetheless showing how much she mattered to him). When he sees an alternate version of her in trouble he's immediately ready to risk his own life to help her even though she doesn't know him. He loved her like a sister, and he never once expressed any issues with her sexuality.

So let's go back to Cas. Cas is in love with Dean. Not much of a surprise there, he's said it before. But this is the first time Dean understands that that's what he's saying. It makes sense that he's a little stunned, especially considering that Cas is also saying that he's about to die. I mean, if your best friend of twelve years told you one day that they've been in love with you all along, that just knowing you has irrevocably changed them for the better, and that also by the way telling you this means they're going to die, mightn't you be rendered a tad speechless?

Dean does not hate Cas for this. Not at all. Because whether or not Dean is bi, whether or not he reciprocates, Cas is still his best friend. We've seen how hard Dean grieves every time Cas dies. We know how much Cas matters to him. Of all the shit they've put each other through, there's absolutely no logical reason for this to be the thing that damages their friendship beyond repair. Not after everything. No fucking way.

Dean says nothing because he doesn't know what to say, because he's still processing Cas's confession but also already grieving and blaming himself for Cas's death. The way he breaks down at the very end of the episode? That's not a man who's disgusted. That's a man who's shattered.

How dare you try to simplify this incredibly complex and emotional moment into Dean being a dick. How dare you. It's positively insulting. The entire point of Cas's speech was that Dean is so much more than that. If you can't see that, than I'm sorry, but you're missing the whole message of the show.

Supernatural is about family and sacrifice. It's about free will, making your own choices. And it's about being more than just who you're supposed to be, going beyond what other people want or assume. All the depth beneath the surface. That's the show. That's why we're still watching after all this time. Because it means something important. Something relevant. Something real.

Don't you fucking discredit that.

(thank you for coming to my TED talk)

[yooniesim]

Did you see that latest Timms thing? He thought he was getting sued for sharing the files, but it was actually the constant mesh theft allegations that were getting into “defamation and slander” territory. The site that he claims was stolen from didn’t want anything to do with him or his case so he probably would have lost in court.

I did! Y'all can find screenshots here.

The thing is, I still don't believe anything he says 💀

but if we're assuming this is legit, it's actually very hard to win defamation cases, because it's on the person suing to prove not only a) the defamation occurred but b) the claims were false and c) the exact damages that occurred to their client's (cowbuild's) reputation. It wouldn't be on Timm to prove that he was innocent aka that his claims were true afaik. I think it also depends on if cowbuild is considered a public figure or not, which would make it much harder for her to win such a case. This is also not addressing the "associated law firm in the US" part which sounds fishy to me too. The entire C&D is extremely messy and unprofessional imo. We've already had creators fake them before, so I wouldn't be surprised if it happened again. If it isn't fake, I wouldn't want this person representing me lol. I'm not a lawyer though, so take my opinion with a grain of salt.

If Timm was scared though, I don't blame him for turning tail and retracting whatever statements he had he felt were false; what I do blame him for is suddenly acting like Cowbuild had never done anything wrong and everything was cool now. That was completely busted and he knows it, but he totally ignored it and only mentioned the lawsuit. Once again, the aim was to defend himself, not acknowledge the people he hurt with his words.

"Some things were said that I could not process." That's the only response to him excusing her doxxing, harassment, transphobia and homophobia that we get. It was too difficult for his ego to process, so he's just going to ignore it. It's not for him to process "someone else's pain", but you know what would've helped? Maybe, I don't know, an apology? Saying, "hey, this really scared me so I acted impulsively to appease her, but I'm not okay with [xyz issue] and I'm sorry"? He's basically admitting he was scared of her and that's why he backed off in these screenshots, so why not go ahead and apologize? Well, we know why. Cos it ain't the priority.

[transvamp]

i would never argue that men are actually the primary victims of patriarchy because we aren't, its very obviously women who suffer the most under patriarchy, but that doesnt mean that men come out unscathed. a group being socialized to do harm to others often are being harmed in that socialization, whether it be physically or emotionally (or, often times that people dont like to acknowledge, sexually as well). as much as bioessentialists want to claim otherwise, there is no inherent part of mens biology that makes us harmful or dangerous. its not testosterone, its not penises, its not a y chromosome, its being socialized in a society that values and rewards toxic masculinity. and like i said, a lot of the ways that those values are taught are through violence and abuse, often from the older men in their lives. the stereotypical ideal of a (cishet) man does not come entirely naturally to the vast majority of men, and it's not uncommon to hear stories from guys talking about being punished for expressing interest in something not deemed 'masculine' or expressing emotions until they learn to shut it out. or stories about guys being sexually assaulted by women but their assault not being taken seriously because everyone insists men should always be wanting for sex and the story gets reframed as him being ungrateful. the insecurities men have about their masculinity gets framed as a joke a lot, especially in feminist and lgbt spaces, but the thing is this insecurity is because men sit on a precarious part of the social hierarchy where they do have most power but its honestly kind conditional, and if they cant reaffirm their masculinity through whatever means necessary, they know that they'll be subject to at best ridicule and mocking and at worst violence. this is especially obvious when you factor in racism and homophobia into the mix (i also seriously recommend f.d signifier's videos in general but especially the ones where he discusses how the patriarchy negatively affects black men), because while men of color and gbt men still hold privilege over the women in their communities, they still are subject to harm from white and cishet men respectively. and like i said, this isn't even a biological thing because the same thing applies to the trans community, where i've seen time and time again other trans men be abhorrently misogynistic to try to prove they're 'one of the guys' and validate themselves through cis masculinity, and in the process isolate and harm trans women in our own community when we should be supporting each other. i really do think that to combat toxic masculinity and the patriarchy we need to acknowledge the harm that is done to men as well, because by denying the ability for patriarchy to harm men you further push them into deeply misogynistic movements like the manosphere that profit from men's insecurities and harmful patriarchal values.

[kevindayscrown]

The one where Kevin Day falls in love with an ice hockey player.

Part 4 The Fall

(TW: Panic attacks, mentions of violence, mentions of homophobia, mentions of Riko because he deserves his own trigger warning)

Anything included in this head canon takes place the semester after the Foxes won the championship against the Ravens.

Disclaimer: I know next to nothing about varsity teams in the United States so excuse any false information. Read first the Introduction, Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3.

Weeks passed, the chilling breezes of October giving way to the bitter cold of mid-November. The season had started off to a satisfying foot for the Foxes of the Exy team, the new recruits slowly adjusting. Everything was falling into place.

The calm before the storm.

Kevin reserved three nights a week for sneaking with Eric to the Foxhole Rink and practice his skating skills.

It was a slower process than he would have wanted, but Kevin knew about slow processes. It had taken him half a year before he could use a racquet with his left hand again.

However, Kevin was also a firm believer of proper equipment being part of an athlete’s success. His borrowed skates just wouldn’t do, especially now that the two of them had moved on from simple skating to actual ice hockey.

Eric agreed to take him to buy his own pair. Kevin had to skip class just so he wouldn’t have to find another excuse. He still wasn’t sure if Andrew genuinely believed him every time he came up with a reason to skip night practice and then disappear for hours.

They were looking at the designs the store had in stock when it happened.

Kevin felt his cellphone vibrate in his pocket. He could guess that it was probably Nicky, wanting to annoy him with something.

When it didn’t stop, he sighed in frustration and picked it up.

“What?”

“I’m so sorry Kevin.” It was Dan.

“Sorry about what?”

Dan had a knack for taking photos of the foxes throughout the year so she could put them on the wall back at the court. She carried a camera everywhere with her.

She’d carried one when they’d gone at the rink after the Exy team lost the bet.

Kevin rushed forward and asked the cashier if he could use one of the computers in the store.

It was everywhere in local and nationwide websites. Mostly on gossip tabloids. The ice hockey players had apparently gotten their hands on the photo and in their attempts to harmlessly tease their captain, they ended up spreading the photo around on the internet.

‘Kevin Day’s newest conquest? Staring Striker swings a different way than you’d expect.’

‘All for the Wrong Game? Exy-Prodigy Kevin Day on Thin Ice.’

On the articles, pictures of Eric having his arm wrapped around him when he almost fell on the rink and of them entering the Foxhole Rink in the late hours, were attached. He couldn’t even tell when those had been taken and by whom.

“Shit.”

Crude commentary, speculations, jokes, slurs, people suddenly claiming they always knew. It was all over the news. The headlines alone were bad enough.

‘Perhaps Kevin and Riko’s relationship was of a different nature.’

Kevin was going to be sick.

“What the hell happened Day? You look as if you’ve seen a ghost,” Eric demanded but Kevin could barely hear him.

He was having a hard time breathing. The last time he had panicked like that was when he told the press he had never been skiing before and instantly thought Riko would kill him for it. Now, it was another Moriyama who could take his life for such a stupid mistake.

Before his thoughts could keep going downhill, Eric grabbed his wrist on his right arm and dragged him down one of the alleys that was the least crowded. Kevin then felt hands cradling his face. Eric stared down at him with a harsh look, though one also of concern.

“These rumors go around all the time about every celebrity, Kevin,” He said, trying to comfort him.

“No, no, he-,” he stopped and tried to breathe in again. “Fuck. Fuck!” He pulled away and ran his fingers through his hair. Kevin hadn’t circled the news like that ever since it was announced that he had transferred to Palmetto State University.

“He? Who? Kevin, talk to me.”

Simple rumors have ruined careers, Kevin knew that. It was the rumor of him being better than Riko that had gotten him to break Kevin’s hand and almost ending his own career. It was by luck that he could recover and play again.

Pro teams weren’t tolerant to gossiping rumors that could ruin their image. And they sure as hell weren’t progressive enough to accept homosexual players – even only rumored ones - in their lineup. Kevin had already signed, but would they break his contact over this?

If they did, if he didn’t make it to pros, he would be useless to Ichirou. He would get rid of Kevin overnight.

“Kevin.” Eric’s stern voice snapped him back to reality.

“Ichirou Moriyama,” he finally said and stared down at his hands. The white scar across his left palm was somehow more prominent at that moment.

Eric was confused, as it was expected. Kevin gathered the remainings of his sanity to explain as best as he could. He didn’t know why or how, maybe it was his panic, his need to talk to someone, Eric’s concerned expression, but he was suddenly sharing everything. The Moriyamas owning Kevin ever since his mother died, Riko breaking his hand, everything going on in the background last year that people didn’t know about, and of course, the deal Neil had made with Ichirou.

By the time he was done, he was shaking and Eric remained completely silent.

“Fuck it,” the goaltender suddenly said. “Any pro team would be stupid to not take Kevin Day into their lineup because of this. You are the best striker in the history of Exy. You are passionate, you are determined. You have an insufferable ego, yes, but you are Exy. It’s your legacy. They won’t take it away from you.”

Kevin wasn’t sure how to react to this, but he felt a twitch in his chest.

Usually, when he had a panic attack, the Foxes or Wymack would hand him a bottle of vodka and call it a day. They didn’t know how to handle him.

Somehow, Eric however, knew exactly what to say.

“I- Thank you,” he said and clenched his hands into fists.

His phone rings again and Andrew’s name appeared on the screen.

Whatever composure he had regained, vanished into thin air.

Before he could reach for it, Eric grabbed the phone and picked it up. Kevin wasn’t sure what had been shared, and he wondered which of his knives Andrew would use to skin them both alive.

It didn’t take long for the blond to show up. Kevin was immediately at his feet, but wasn’t quick enough. Andrew already had a skate on his hand, apparently deciding to get creative and test how sharp the blade of it was.

He was going for Eric before Kevin could stop him.

[nightswithkookmin]

still same anon. this was another one of my asks from months ago. basically it was a comment I made about jikook's intimacy. it was from this interview: https://youtu.be/T--BOS8oTec the moment I'm talking about happens from 3:00 minute timestamp onwards. i was saying how despite this moment being "skinship" or whatever, it kinda hit different? there's also intimacy there. bc you see how jimin doesn't have to say anything and jungkook immediately understands what to do and starts massaging his neck. jimin literally threw a glance at him, tilted his neck a lil and jungkook didn't need a second more to know what to do. I wanted to talk to you about it since I know that you're not big on skinship defining jikook's relationship, but I think there ARE jikook skinship moments worth noting and this is one of them imo.

Oh ok. Thanks.

SKINSHIP IN CONTEXT

I think skinship by it's very definition is an intimate act depending on the level of familiarity between the parties involved in the act.

From my understanding of skinship, it's basically interactions that would otherwise be viewed as sexual outside of their culture but viewed as acceptable platonic behavior between the same sex or even the opposite sex.

The objective of skinship is to be intimate with another person on a level that's only next to romance.

I remember my sister telling me how shook she was when she found out for the first time, around 2011 when she first moved to Seoul, how she couldn't even keep her pants on at a 'Jimjirban' because all the gals in there were expected to walk around butt naked in the spa. No towels, no pants, no robes butt nakedttt.

'Mehn, this doesn't happen where I'm coming from' she said to her companion.

A. I'm black.

B. I'm not flat.

C. I'm wearing my pants.

Her very naked friend, a native SK, whom she says she'd only met for like a week, then grabbed her underwear and pulled it down her thighs exposing her deforested vagina to the winds and a dozen other curious gazes. All females.

'For a second, I thought I had been tricked into an orgy of a sort. I was very naked without my consent. Wind whistling through my shy butt cracks. Watching very naked females of varying ages stare on with pride and smiles on their faces as if I had just saved a village or something and when I jiggled when I walked I could hear them gasp, amazed- Goldy, how is this not gay?'

'You think skinship between their men is weird, wait till you see their women. Wait till a very attractive Korean girl is breathing down your neck and caressing your nape and complementing your skin while showing you pictures of her boyfriend on her phone.'

She says it took her a while to get used to the skinship between women in SK and seeing the men interact in a certain way messed with her brains for a while. She said she felt her intelligence was being played with most of the time.

I guess if you want to look at Jikook's skinship as intimate then there's nothing wrong it.

Skinship is intimate at the very least.

But skinship, for all intent and purposes, is platonic and nonsexual in nature. And maybe this is a fatal flaw on my part. Or maybe thanks to my sister, I'm desensitized to this form of interaction but I have a hard time seeing Jikook's intimacy as platonic or even seeing most of their skinship as romantic- in anyway. It will make sense in a bit, hold on.

I have a hard time equating skinship with romantic intimacy. But that's just me.

I wasn't able to click on the link you sent but I'm guessing this is the moment you are talking about?

I wouldn't call this skinship. I mean it is but I wouldn't call it that. Skinship is meant to show how close two people are. How familiar they are with eachother.

This doesn't show how close Jikook are. But It shows how caring and affectionate JK is as human being, as a dongsaeng, and as a boyfriend.

I'd rather we celebrate that. JK doesn't get highlighted enough. He caters to the people he cares about. He is an attentive person.

Hate to be a grinch but I can pull up a couple of times JK has done that very gesture with Jin or Tae or Hobi. Remember Soop? Remember when Jin complained of feeling cold and JK went up to him immediately and 'warmed' him up?

Of course, Jimin kept stealing glances at him like he could throw a shoe at the back of his head if he could but that's beside the point.

The man is an empath. He's said several times he feels a lot of pain watching his hyungs go through it. Fact is, Jk cares about people. He's kind, loving and he shows this aspect of him through gestures like these.

He does it for Jimin. He does it for all the members because as he's said, they are all a family.

It's stressful hearing people claim he doesn't give a fuck about Jimin, that he doesn't care about JM because he shows affections for others besides JM.

At some point we would have to make a distinction between what acts flows from their unique personalities because of who they are at their core and what act flows from them being a couple.

Most people who see Jimin as a natural nurturer and what not are able to separate this identity from his ship moments but JK isn't accorded the same privilege. It is why most people are quick to lash out at him when he interacts with others in the same way he interacts with Jimin.

When JM acts nurturing towards V or RM or Suga he is seen a good, kind person.

When JK does something affectionate it's seen as a beautiful Jikook moment or Taekook moment or Jinkook moment and is soon swept under the carpet, soon forgotten and never tied to the personality of JK- perhaps because most of these shippers don't care to know who JK is as a person and as a human.

When Jimin does something affectionate its 'awww Jimin is such an amazing person' even if that act is merely performative sometimes.

I try not to engage in conversations that perpetuate this horrifying discrimination against either of Jikook. They are both individuals.

There are a lot of Asks sitting in my box highlighting the various ways JM is awesome and kind and amazing as s boyfriend to JK and not a single out of 500 plus posts talking about how empathetic JK really is. How thoughtful he is to even pack motion sickness drugs to go on trips even though he doesn't get motion illness and JM is the one that often complains about motion sickness on trips.

The heteronormative lens, on opposite ends of the spectrum in the shipping community, which dictates we perceive on Jikook as either feminine or masculine is a telltale sign of the misogyny and misandry prevalent within this fandom.

The fandom's heteronormative lens filters Jimin as the wildly feminine archetype, wildly fragile, sexy and womanly right down to the way we praise him as the 'good woman' in his relationship with JK- loyal, faithful, nurturing, kind, silent in that he continues to perform Jikook even when Jikook are not in a great place. etc.

Yet because he is seen as womanly or feminine, the part of the fandom that hates women hate Jimin. That's where all the slut shaming, bullying and harassment stems from- misogyny.

Jk is viewed as the opposite of that. By most, he is very masculine man and as such harbors all the traits of masculinity the modern woman detests- toxic masculinity, cheating, disloyal, fuckboy who treats women like shit. All forms of hatred and intolerance towards men is projected on to him especially by male intolerant people or dare I say feminist women within the fandom.

And you see them in the way they are always fighting for Jimin against JK as if Jimin were a fragile faithful woman whose man don't treat him right thus further perpetuating the heteronormative stereotypes of Jimin.

What's disconcerting is Jikook are both men and yet depending on how their masculinity or femininity is perceived, they are both treated very differently.

You hear Tuktukkers talk about how Jikook is as a result of heteronormativity and thus prescribe Taekook as the ideal homonormative ship- because to them, Tae and JK are both seen as two whole men.

To them Jimin is just not man enough to even be gay- isn't that the foundation of homophobia?

Gay men not seen as men at all?

Whereas amongst Jokers, Jimin's manliness is often forgiven and JK's is abhorred. Jk is too much of a man and men just ain't shit.

This may sound like an over simplification but Tuktukkers hate women, Jokers hate men and either side suck. In my opinion.

Jimin is a nurturer he cares about people including his boyfriend. JK is an empath he feels the pain of those close to him including his boyfriend and is often moved to ease or take away some of that pain.

It's thus annoying to hear people out here yell and complain on every turn each time JK interacts with the others how JK 'doesn't act exclusive' with Jimin or how he doesn't care about Jimin.

Should he not care about anyone besides Jimin just because he is dating Jimin?

It's annoying when they say the same about Jimin. Jimin nurtures everyone ergo there's nothing special or exclusive about the way he nurtures JK.

Nonsense such as these are spewed without taking into account that those acts in themselves speak directly to who these people are as human beings first and foremost; secondly, to how they feel about the person at the recieving end of their affections.

If they are treating everyone the same it's probably because they love everyone too- in a non romantic way of course. It's their love language. They love others with the same heart they love eachother with.

It doesn't take away from how they feel about eachother. JK admiring another member does not mean when he admires Jimin it's nothing. It just mean he admires Jimin too.

Not everything has to be romanticized or given a romantic context. They are each expressing themselves and their feelings for their bandmates. It's about them not their bandmates or their relationship with said bandmates.

Certain moments are just attestation to their love language be it platonic or romantic and it says more about who they are as people than what their relationship with the other person is. It's not all about their relationship.

People need to start treating Jikook as individuals. They are humans first before a ship. Shipping them shouldn't take away from their authentic expressions of self.

That's how they each end up getting cussed out in these streets left and right.

It's ridiculous.

This is JK being JK. Imma leave it at that.

This is from the same interview where Tae was talking about how they love showcasing their bond.

It's ok to celebrate it. Just see it for what it is- as flowing from JK's kind self. This is not Jikook. This is JK. Jeon Jungkook.

Don't fume or act disappointed when you see him do the same kind gesture for another member just because of the meaning you are imposing on this moment. Know what I mean?

That being said, there are certain Jikook 'skinship' moments that crosses the line of skinship right into sexual foreplay.

If 'skinship' leaves you 'sexually excited' it's not skinship. Nobody can tell me nothing.

Make of this moment what you will. Just be responsible with it. I think. But don't mind me. I'm grumpy.

Signed,

GOLDY

[spnasylum]

Sarah Z Silenced Me!

I’m a black queer SPN fan as I’ve said before. I just watched a nearly 2 hour long video Sarah Z made about the Supernatural finale. She makes it so obvious that’s she’s a Heller and Minion. She spends most of the video making references to Misha while barely mentions Jared and the only talk of Jensen is her talking at length about his alleged homophobia. She claims Castiel is “the most important character” on the show. She seems to want to convince that Supernatural queerbaited, but uses the same old problematic stereotypes and congratulates Misha on being so pro Destiel while it makes everyone else uncomfortable (yeah because he wants your money, girl!) She also seems to think that seasons 14 and 15 where leading up to canon Destiel (girl, where????) with no real evidence of it. I left this comment…yeah I know it’s long!

“I’ve been a hardcore SPN fan for a long ass time, I grew up on it, been to cons, done foolish things in the name of Gish etc etc. I thought the finale was beautiful, I’m not really a crier and I was sobbing. I loved the more laid back cover of "Carry On…”. I have never seen the appeal in Destiel and as a queer fan I actually find it to be incredibly problematic and not at all representative of anything other than bad stereotypes and toxicity (every other LGBTQIA+ fan I speak to feels the same way). The shippers have gone way too far, its become cult like and has turned SPN into a mockery, they are a small but very loud part of the fandom who manage to make all of us look bad to the cast and crew and even people outside of fandom culture. Many The Boys fans are not looking forward to Jensen joining the show for no other reason than the possibility that some of them may follow him and they don’t want that kinda energy over there. The show didn’t queerbait us because everyone involved with the exception of Misha Collins have been very clear its not real and would never be canon. Anyone who managed to convince themselves otherwise despite repeatedly being told it wouldn’t happen played themselves and have no one to be upset with other than themselves (and maybe Misha because he kinda encouraged them to sell merch which he shouldn’t have done knowing their reputation.)

PS the accusations that the CW, with so much rep on its network, would go to great lengths to somehow edit the American airing of the show to “silence” Dean from declaring his undying gay love for Castiel (who’s I love you I still see as platonic. You can look up to someone, have them be a good influence in your life and love them dearly without wanting to screw their brains out) Why then with so much homophobic rage for just this one specific show and only two very specific characters they decide they must stop Dean saying “me too” or whatever at any cost would they let the “super secret REAL script” play out on screen in another country for a show with a dedicated global fanbase. Why would a network with so much rep, that makes sure to have diversity on their network, want to conspire to stop Dean Winchester specifically. Like I’m seeing conspiracy theories and hashtags that would make flat earth truthers embarrassed for destiel shippers detachment from reality. “

Within minutes, literally MINUTES, it had been removed. No discussion, just straight up censorship. So I’m leaving my comment here instead along with the link to the video so you can hear the same nonsense I just did.

https://youtu.be/M0QhgQ-g4C0

I think this is her tumblr https://dingdongyouarewrong.tumblr.com/  I see a post defending the bullying and harassment the Destiel shippers are doing online being waved off as just “over zealous women” or something... insane.

[into-control]

sorry into, this is going to be a rant, but I'm so heated and upset right now

everyone who takes TTB's side (aka that demonic monster of a straight woman) is just a bad person at this point.

one side literally has multiple detailed testimonies from different people, evidence including countless emails that she sent to them, that demon woman literally spoke on her blog about how she'd managed to find people's real life identities and also said multiple threatening things like "your identity is not a secret" to people who called her out, like those are her OWN WORDS, that she said on her ACTUAL BLOG herself, one of her minions also accidentally admitted in a k*ylor discord server that TTB had contacted someone's workplace, TTB herself slipped up and accidentally mentioned that she knew the identity of a person who anonymously spoke about her outing them, etc

like she has OUTED multiple people. one of those people literally has a physically abusive extremely homophobic father, and she could have gotten them seriously harmed or even killed

and despite the mountain of evidence against her, all TTB has to say is "lol no they're all lying, I'm not TTB btw, I'm sp*de riddles, TTB is innocent, they're all just jealous of her and probably homophobic, they're all liars, don't listen to them 😌"

and then she focuses on semantics and keeps saying "TTB never doxxed anyone" bc she's using the definition of posting private information on the internet, even though people often use doxxing as slang to mean revealing someone's online identity to people they know in real life. but notice how she never says "TTB never sent those emails" or "TTB never dug up people's identities", she avoids that and always just says "TTB never doxxed anyone"

and that's all it takes to get all of her minions and her followers to strongly take her side and dismiss all of the evidence against her and to attack the people who have spoken against her and call them liars

she is fucking EVIL, she could have got people kicked out of their homes or fired or even killed, she's a disgusting human being and if anyone here still supports her, I literally don't know what to say

also on top of the fact that she OUTED people just for disagreeing with her over K*YLOR, she also fucking kept calling jewish people rats and "lizards" and "the lizard crew" which is literally taken straight from antisemitic conspiracy theories (no surprises there), she called BLM "drama", she said that bipolar people are "mentally unstable" and "literally crazy" and that they shouldn't be able to work with children, she posted fucked up things about karlie faking a miscarriage, she spoke about the baby having "dirty bloodlines" and being "k*shner spawn"

she constantly uses "that person is mentally ill" as a way to dismiss the opinions of anyone who disagrees with her, she treats people with mental illnesses like they're dirt, she claims everyone who disagrees with her is homophobic EVEN THOUGH SHE'S STRAIGHT, she's complained more than once about being "attacked" for being straight and compared it to what LGBT people go through, she called black people who asked her not to be racist "toxic" and "negative" and "keyboard warriors" and then she told them they clearly didn't actually care about BLM and that taylor was doing more than they were, etc.

like she's genuinely fucking vile. people could have died. she was genuinely trying to ruin people's lives just because they disagreed with her k*ylor blog, and all of these people that she harassed and outed were LGBT themselves which is really fucked up given that she paints herself as an ally

I mean, are we even surprised given that she had threatened to out karlie multiple times on her blog? but I guess people thought all of those threats of her outing karlie were just jokes, and now they're in heavy denial about her actually outing people for real

genuinely, if anyone still supports her, then idek what to say, she's evil.

so many people in the gaylor fandom have deactivated their blogs in the last month or so, especially kids, because they're terrified of being outed by her like those other people were. and yet she claims she's an ally and that her blog is a safe space

you’re absolutely right anon. we have to stop letting straight women define what homophobia is because it allows them to participate in things they don’t think hurts us but does. i would even go as far as to say that we should stop letting them label themselves as allies (it should be a label that comes from one of us) because they let it get to their heads and they start thinking they’re an important figure to the lgbt community, which ttb obviously thinks because of how often she repeats how she’s an ally in response to members of the community criticizing her

the fact that she’s actually become so full of herself that she thinks she has the right to out people exemplifies that. and yeah maybe what she’s done isn’t *legally* considered doxxing but it doesn’t make it any less shitty. it’s just common decency within the lgbt community to not out another person. it doesn’t matter if somebody has made some of their info public. in my friend group only one of my friends is out to their parents but other than that we all know not to talk about our sexualities around our parents and other people we’re not out to. it’s just basic fucking decency.

she doesn’t understand our experiences in the slightest and you can tell in the way she reacts to certain things taylor (and by extension karlie) does. you shouldn’t be a gaylor because you’re anxiously waiting for taylor to come out. i used to not think ttb being a hallmark of the kaylor community as a straight person wasnt really a big deal but you can see how over time whatever bit of allyship she had in the first place has turned into a superiority complex.

and i can’t really speak too much on the antisemitism and racism as a non jewish and white person but in general you’re just supposed to listen to marginalized groups when they tell you not to do something

[nerdygaymormon]

Sometimes I really hate being Bi. I know know the Church is true and I'll never leave it, but man is it a struggle. I started to think I was Bi on my Mission, and wow, that was scary. Ever since I got home, little over a year ago, I feel like I'm attracted to women more and more and I hate it. (I know I'm Bi and not Lesbian.) I see a cute gal, and I want cuddles and dates, and so many other things, but I can't act on it. (Especially since I'm at BYUI.) Do you have any tips on not hating yourself

Everyone has some things about themselves they don’t like or about which they’re hyper-critical. Often these are about not living up to our ideals, actions we wish we had or hadn’t done, not living up to some societal ideal, about a failure in our life. This is normal and part of being human. 

Queer people in particular must deal with self-hatred that goes beyond just a normal part of being human. We grow up hearing negative messages about people like us and we internalize those messages. And often we have an inner voice that is authoritative and may sound like our parents or religious leaders and thus when it speaks to us, that voice gives those messages extra heft. These things cause us to see ourselves as lesser and to feel shame over our feelings and how we experience life. 

An important part of unraveling this self-loathing is to recognize the negative messages, refute them, and replace them. 

For example, your world won’t end just because you’re bi. Some people may view you differently if they find out, but a lot of people will continue to respect and love you. Perhaps you’ll lose some people, but you will not lose everything and everybody you care about.

That’s recognizing and refuting the negative messages, now let’s replace them. Being bi is a wonderful part of what makes me the person I am and I’m lucky because it brings many important gifts into my life. I can find beauty and love that others miss. 

When you’re at church or school and hear a negative message about queer people, push back against it. You can raise your hand and speak up. If you’re not feeling brave in that moment, it’s okay, and explain to yourself why that comment was wrong and replace it with a positive comment. 

Another thing you may have heard is that being gay or bi is a choice or the result of a lack of faith or some other reason. Fact is that it’s biological and a natural part of this world. This is literally how we’re made. 

Associate with other LGBTQIA people. 

I always feel so much better after I’ve been with other queer people. Being with them helps fight the things I was taught about the queer community, I can see & experience that they are normal people. They are fun, loving, caring, and supportive, exactly the opposite of what I’d been told. You can attend USGA-Rexburg and there’s a new resource center going up in town. 

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints spends quite a bit of time teaching and celebrating early pioneers. It’s quite a legacy and something to be proud of. The same is true of the queer community, we have amazing pioneers. We are a brave people. You have claim to two incredible legacies. Read about some of our queer Mormon heroes of the last decade.

Shame withers in sunshine

If you’re not yet out to friends and family, that’s okay, you have a blog and can write about your experiences and thoughts online. You can also find & connect with other queer Mormons. 

One thing I’ve experienced, which has surprised me is that as I write and post about things of which I was embarrassed, the shame associated with them goes away. By sharing with others, it is no longer a secret that needs to be hidden, but something I’m taking ownership of. 

If you’re awesome on paper, then you’re awesome in person

I used to know that I could write things on paper about myself that would sound great, but I didn’t have positive feelings about them. That person on the paper looked good, but somehow I didn’t have those same feelings about myself. I was the first person in my family to get a college degree, I now have an MBA, I served a mission, I am the favorite uncle in my family, I play the piano, I am kind and trusted and so on. 

Learn to draw boundaries

Often when we don’t feel great about ourselves, we make up for that by seeking the approval of others, more so than is usual or healthy. We end up agreeing to do things we may not want to do just so that we seem agreeable and worthy of their approval, even from people we don’t care about that much. There is power in being able to say “no.” Schedule time to get your school work done, to participate in activities you enjoy, in having time for friends, for contributing to the community. You can agree to spend time helping others with things they want, but protect your boundaries and don’t overstretch yourself. 

Boundaries also are important when it comes to people and messages you associate with. Try to find allies and queer people that you can associate with. Even if you’re not “out,” you can present yourself as an ally and be with people who express positivity about queerness. 

You don’t have to accept everything you hear at church, what church leaders have said, or even all the “doctrine.” Church leaders have been tragically wrong in the past, they are not perfect conveyers of the love of our Heavenly Parents. You don’t have to believe the terrible things taught about LGBTQ people. I know this is easier said than done. It helps if you’ve experienced God’s love for you, or if you’ve thought about how illogical it would be for loving Heavenly Parents to send queer children to earth with no way for them to express who they are or to have happiness. We are supposed to experience joy in this life. 

Take care of your health

When I met with a psychologist because I was suicidal and also wanted help with my internalized homophobia and low-self esteem, the first things we discussed were if I was getting enough sleep, was I eating a healthy diet, was I getting exercise. Our physical well-being contributes to our mental well-being. Sometimes a good cry is what I need to express the feelings I’m having, followed by a nap, then I feel much better. 

Allow for growth and forgiveness

We all learn and change and grow. As others grow in understanding and do better, allow them the grace of forgiveness by recognizing things said by their past selves were said in ignorance and recognize the growth they’ve undergone. This also applies to you and your past self. 

A common exercise that helps is to think of what you would say to someone else in a similar position. So often we speak of love and acceptance and not being hard on themselves, and it’s pretty great advice which we could apply to ourselves. Another exercise is to have a picture of our younger self, or even of just some young person around ages 5~12, and know that they are going to grow up queer, what advice would you give them? You deserve the same compassion, kindness and love that you show to others. 

Growth and change also happens to our faith. Here’s a post where I shared about faith transitions and I found it very helpful in understanding how I experience my faith is different from my family, it’s because we’re in different stages. 

Take pride in trying, not in failure or success

Coming out is freaking hard and takes a lot of courage. Like a lot of things in life, many people attempt to do this and then fail, they back down, the moment feels wrong, they get panicked, or whatever reason. Failure isn’t the worst thing, not trying is. And the more we try, the more successes we’ll eventually have. And once you have some wins under your belt, it gets easier to do those things that were once hard. 

When being bi brings happiness, it’s easier to love this about yourself

For so many people, being queer is only associated with negative things in their life, but when you can start associating it with positive things it becomes easier to accept and love this part of yourself. When you have queer friends, when you have experienced the excitement of a crush on a boy and on a girl, when you go on dates, or someone sends a message that your posts about your feelings really helped them, those positive experiences will be associated with being bi. 

Add voices and writings that affirm you and your experiences

So often scriptures are used as a weapon against queer people. A lot of people think they know what the Bible says about queer people based on a few verses pulled out of context, but they’ve not put in any real study to the original language, situation or what those verses read like when put back in context. Nor are they aware that there’s also positive scriptures about queer people. I put together a collection of things I learned that I hope will help others. 

This year I’ve really been enjoying the Beyond the Block podcast, which has a Black man and a gay man discuss each week’s Come, Follow Me lesson. I also have liked the Faithful Feminists podcast. Both of those podcast highlight principles and concepts from the scriptures which are important for marginalized people. 

Find blogs, podcasts, books, videos, lectures, classes, twitter accounts and whatever else that helps affirm you and helps you understand yourself.

[ace-thinks]

Hi! So I think that I may be ace. The thing is that I never care a lot about sex and, honestly, I thought that people can't care THAT much about it and that they were faking it in order to be cooler or to fit. I've always feel a little repulsed by the idea, but I thought that it was something normal. 1/5

I had a couple and they wanted to have sex so I convinced myself that I have to do it. When that moment came I freezed and I freaked out, but I still doing it, and honestly, I feel extremely boring and discusting. 2/5 

Few months ago I discovered asexuality and started reading about it, about sexual attraction (which amazed me a lot btw like how can someone feel that way?? ), and about some stuff that ace folks experience and thought before realized they were ace, and all resonate so much to me 3/5 

But Im still not sure and I'm having a lot of anxiety about it haha and I dunno what to do. Like all that I have been doing for the past few months is watching YouTube videos about it, reading stuff about asexuality, imagine scenarios with random people that I see at the street, or just keep staring at them and try to guess if I'm experiencing attraction. 4/5 

Also in movies and books that seem cool and I guess that a part of me want something like that but the reality discust me. (Dunno how to explain myself haha) And I find people attractive and I can tell when someone is what society mean by hot but I don't feel like sexuality attracted to that. Do u have any advice? Or something that I can do to clear up my mind? I'm kinda scared that is internalised homophobia and I'm using ace as an excused (sorry for the English is not my first language) 5/5

Hi! No need to apologize - your English is great! First I want to say that everything you have described is super relatable and really common. Here’s my advice:

1) Stop thinking about it so much.

I know this is easier said than done, but try not to let this consume your life. I used “test myself” out in public too. It was exhausting and stressful and didn’t help me very much. In fact, I think it ended up making me more confused. It’s hard, but whenever you feel yourself starting to do that, try to distract yourself. Mentally switch gears to something else. For me, I would look away and start a random conversation with someone. Or if I was watching a million videos/taking a million online quizzes I would turn off my phone/computer and start doing something else entirely. I did that until I eventually started thinking about my identity less and less.

In my experience, I gained the most clarity once I stopped obsessing over trying to find answers. Thinking about one thing for too long can make everything feel jumbled in your head, but taking a step back might help you come to some helpful realizations about yourself.

2) Trust your gut. 

Internalized homophobia is powerful and hard to overcome, and unfortunately I can’t tell you whether or not that’s what you’re experiencing. A lot of people I’ve talked to who have dealt with internalized homophobia said that their fantasies and imagination helped them realize that they were actually gay. For a while I thought maybe that’s what I was dealing with (or internalized biphobia) but I realized that when I would try to fantasize about people it just didn’t work for me, regardless of their gender. That helped me realize that I wasn’t repressing anything - there just wasn’t any attraction there. 

You mentioned that sometimes the idea of sex sounds interesting but the reality disgusts you. That’s an important feeling. Things often seem nice in theory, but if the reality of it seems unpleasant then that’s what really matters. If you can’t get past that disgusted feeling even when you try to let your mind naturally wander, then you should listen to that feeling.

3) Go for it.

 A lot of us put way too much pressure on ourselves to “get our labels right.” We’re afraid of having to switch later on or realizing that we’ve perpetuated a harmful stereotype by using one label as a “stepping stone” to another one. We’re afraid that people will think we were just in a “phase” or that the identity that we claimed was fake all along. There’s just a lot of pressure. But here’s the thing:

There shouldn’t be. 

From everything that you said, it sounds like you’re really leaning towards the idea that you might be ace. Great! Try the label on. Don’t ask anymore questions for a while and just see how it feels to identify as ace. Don’t worry about if you’re “ace enough” or if you’re actually secretly gay or anything like that. Just let yourself be ace.

How does it feel? Does it feel natural? Does it feel like it just fits somehow? Cool! Then stick with it! Be asexual.

Labels are not supposed to predict the future. They’re supposed to describe the present. If right now, you feel like sex really isn't your thing then I don’t see why you shouldn’t identify as asexual if that’s what you want to do. Then maybe one day you’ll feel super attracted to someone and decide that you’re graysexual or demisexual or gay or pans or whatever. Cool! That’s totally fine.

Try not to choose a label based on what might happen. Think about what feels real to you right now. If right now, it feels the most accurate to call yourself asexual, then go for it.

___

Anyways this was a really long response but hopefully there’s some helpful stuff in there. If anyone else has any advice they want to add on, please feel free to do so!

Also you can always ask another question or DM me if you want!